A Halloween Festival
by VTPM
Summary: [Modern AU crack oneshot] The Halloween Festival has finally come to Konoha Park, and Iruka is very excited to help Kakashi with the haunted house they'd set up for their students, though an unexpected development quickly becomes a very key component to the spooky night festivities. [Pairings: KakaIru, KakuHida]


/Warnings for probable OOC-ness, rushed writing, and too many dogs dressed up for the holiday- Hope you guys enjoy and happy Halloween!

* * *

Red, orange, yellow, and brown leaves speckled the ground, making a satisfying crunch sound underfoot. It was a very pleasant evening for Autumn; the air was warm and there was a gentle breeze stirring the pretty colored leaves overhead, making one occasionally spiral down to join the others on the path.

He was sure it would have been an even nicer experience if the dogs would stop getting their leashes tangled, and didn't try to bark at and/or chase every squirrel they passed. And maybe if that behemoth of an animal wasn't charging towards them with alarming speed-

Iruka froze the instant he say the large, black... Well, _thing_ , sprinting towards him, and had absolutely no idea what to do. He couldn't outrun it, and he didn't want to let go of the leashes and hope the dogs would take care of themselves until Kakashi could go find them..

Luckily he didn't need to make the decision, as the beast slowed to a stop in front of him, wagging a long tail and a large, slobbery tongue poked out from beneath the odd white mask with dark blue markings over its face.

Iruka released the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding and relaxed ever so slightly. It seemed to be friendly enough... Still, he was afraid to move in case that triggered more movement from it, and instead glanced around for signs of its owner. It was dragging a leash along behind it...

He didn't have to wait long, as soon three more identical dogs all clad in white masks trotted down the path, dragging a less-than-willing-looking person in their wake. Once the owner was in earshot, he immediately started yelling at the loose dog.

"Atsugai, get the fuck back here before I kick your sorry ass!"

The dog, Atsugai, lowered its head and tucked its tail between its legs, slinking meekly back toward the man who quickly grabbed the leash off the ground.

"Hey, are you okay man..?" The stranger asked, sounding genuinely concerned, and with good reason too. Iruka was as white as a sheet, and most of Kakashi's dogs were cowering behind him, all except Pakkun and Bull.

Iruka nodded slightly and gave a nervous half-smile. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine... Your dog just... Startled me.."

"Ah, sorry.. They're not really my dogs, so they don't listen to me very well.. But they're pretty friendly as long as you don't start shit with them or something." He apologized. "My name's Hidan, by the way."

"I'm Iruka.." He replied in return. "If they're not yours, who's dogs are they then, if you don't mind me asking."

"It's fine, they're my boyfriend's dogs. But he's letting me use them as part of my costume for the Halloween Festival."

For the first time, Iruka noticed the satchel slung over Hidan's shoulder that looked like it was crammed to its limit, presumably with his costume. He had also packed his costume into a bag, though had let Kakashi take it to the park for him since he was arriving there first to work on the setting up. He felt his cheeks heat up in humiliation at the reminder of his costume, and made an oath to never, _ever_ let Kakashi pick his outfit out ever again. He still felt the same horror he'd initially felt at the sight of the witch's costume, and the white haired male's response to his pointing out what it was.

"You aren't being a witch; you'll be a warlock. That's what male witches are called." Kakashi had said flippantly.

That hadn't changed the fact that the package quite clearly said 'witch' and sported a female model wearing it. There hadn't even been time to run to the store and get a new one, nor did they have the budget to afford it after getting all the supplies for the haunted house.

 _And quite a lot of money went into the dogs' costumes_... Iruka thought in irritation, glancing down at the pack all wearing little vests, gauze wrappings, and headbands. Apparently Kakashi wanted to dress them as ninjas this year, as he had dressed as one himself, and had preferred getting matching costumes with his dogs than his boyfriend...

Hidan seemed to have followed his gaze and raised an eyebrow at the dogs' outfits. "Soo, was that your idea, or..?"

Iruka laughed and shook his head. "No, not at all. It was Kakashi's idea. I had to dress them though, since he had to get to the park early."

"Ah.. At least he likes Halloween. Kakuzu hates all holidays because they're 'too expensive' and 'childish' and shit.. I had to beg him for hours to even agree to come tonight, let alone let me take his dogs with me. Such a killjoy, seriously."

It finally dawned on Iruka that this man was going to be taking part in setting up the festival, and he had never seen him before. It was mostly run by the school staff.. "I don't really recognize you at all. Have you ever been part of the festival before, or..?"

"Nah, I just moved here last year. Got a job as the Psychology teacher at the Akatsuki College on the other side of town. What about you?" Hidan asked, starting to walk down the path again toward the center of the park, and Iruka fell in step with him, though his pack noticeably kept some distance between themselves and the four other dogs that looked more like bears than canines to him, if he was being honest.

"I'm an elementary teacher at Konoha district. And Kakashi's a high school teacher there as well. It's how we met, actually." He replied, smiling faintly in reminiscence.

Hidan snorted in amusement. "Sounds like something out of a cliché chick flick to me, but I guess cutesy shit like that happens in real life."

"What about you?" Iruka asked, and rolled his eyes at the confused look the grey haired man gave him, then elaborated, "How did you meet your boyfriend?"

"Oh, I've known him since elementary school. Bastard kept beating me up and taking my fucking lunch money, so I punched the him in the face and we've been inseparable ever since." Hidan replied, grinning.

Iruka blinked, trying to tell if he was serious or not. "You're joking, right?"

"Nope. Sorry if it's not as perfect or glamorous as your meeting."

"It's, well... Interesting." Iruka offered weakly.

"I guess so, huh?"

After a few more minutes of small talk, they finally made it to the clearing at the center of the park where the fountain was, and the entire place was alive and bustling with activity as people rushed to get everything ready, and put the final touches on their respective booths and exhibits before night fell and the festival began.

"So what are you working on here?" Iruka asked, scanning the crowd for Kakashi absently.

"One of the game booths, but me and Kakuzu finished it yesterday, and I'm sure he can run it on his own, so I don't really have much to do. You?"

"Kakashi and I got the haunted house to work on. We're nearly done with it-"

"Lucky!" Hidan interrupted. "Haunted houses are the fucking best! I'd love to help you guys if you need it!"

Iruka blinked and nodded slowly. "Well, alright. I'm sure Kakashi won't mind..."

"Great! I can't wait to see what you have done so far."

"It's nothing too fantastic, so don't get your hopes up.." Iruka warned him, leading the way to the exhibit.

They made their way through the bustle of the activity unscathed [mostly thanks to the four monstrous behemoths of dogs leading the way] and found Kakashi on a ladder hanging up a banner over the house's door that said 'Enter if you dare', which might not have been so bad had the printed font not been comic sans. It really undermined the effect of the warning.

Hidan made a face. "That's terrible.."

Really, he didn't have any idea what was wrong with comic sans other than it was apparently 'unprofessional', but Kakuzu hated it with a passion and he had a bad personal experience with it. Specifically the time he had stolen one of Kakuzu's essays from highschool times, rewrote the whole thing in comic sans, and replaced the old papers with the new print. He hadn't lost any points for font choice, but Kakuzu was still furious at having to turn in the paper with the offending font like it was a permanent dent on his pride, and Hidan had gotten a black eye for a few days as punishment. It had still been hilarious though, so he didn't regret the prank in the least.

Kakashi turned to look down at the new voice who had insulted what he considered his perfect banner, and was surprised to see Iruka looking mildly embarrassed [whether it was of the banner or of being with the stranger, he wasn't sure], but it was instantly forgotten at the sight of the black masses of fur sitting in front of Hidan.

Gasping, he jumped down from the ladder [quite like a ninja] with no regard to his safety, making Iruka cry out in alarm when the ladder fell to the ground shortly after him only a few inches away, but it was still simply ignored. Instead, Kakashi crouched down in front of the new dogs and removed a red-marked mask from the nearest one's face. "Oh my goodness, these English Mastiffs are beautiful!" He exclaimed in a fanboy-esque manner. "What are their names?"

Hidan made a noise of irritation in the back of his throat. "Great, another fucking dog nerd.. The red mask is Zukkoku, the yellow one is Gyan, the light blue is Mizu, and the dark blue is Atsugai."

Iruka managed a weak smile that looked more like a grimaced in apology to Hidan as Kakashi continued to faun over his pack. The dogs themselves didn't seem to mind the attention, though Zukkoku tilted his head back to blinked in confusion at his current, part-time master.

Hidan shrugged in response. "Sorry buddy. Dog people are complete nutcases, seriously."

"You're one to talk.." A deep voice muttered from behind him, and Hidan spun to see Kakuzu looking annoyed at him.

"I am not crazy!"

"Your Psychology students beg to differ.."

"Hey, I just happen to think it's a fucking riot messing with their heads! Seriously, some of them look like they're going to piss their pants every time I walk in the room!"

Kakuzu shook his head and rubbed his temples. "Hidan, please.. Just go do something useful with yourself.."

"Fine!" Hidan snapped, turning toward the haunted house entrance and dragging Iruka with him, who squeaked in alarm and gave Kakashi a 'help me' look, but the white haired man merely waved and said, "Have fun."

When they were out of sight, Kakuzu glanced over at the 'ninja'. "I apologize right now for everything Hidan says and does.. Except regarding _that_.." He gestured to the banner.

Kakashi looked up at his work of art and nodded solemnly. "I understand.."

"And as for your... friend's costume..?"

"I picked it out for him. He's a warlock."

"...I see.."

There was an awkward pause before Kakashi asked, "...Want to help me hang the banner?"

"I'd rather burn this place to the ground." Kakuzu replied blankly. Zukkoku barked his agreement.

* * *

Inside the house , Hidan looked around the mostly empty halls. There was a few decorations; sheet ghosts, toilet paper mummies, jack-o-lanterns, etc... They weren't scary in the least though. Really, it was a total disappointment.

"This is the best you could do? Hell, give me a day and a trip to Party City, and I could make something ten times scarier."

"Well, this is a family friendly festival, so it has to be kept in mind little kids are going to be coming through here.." Iruka replied.

"So what? Let the little shits get scared. A little mental trauma never hurt anyone."

"...I feel like you have personal experience with that, but I won't ask.."

"Good idea. But seriously, you could use some fake blood, or spider webs, or- ...Do I see rainbows in that room? I thought this was a haunted house, not a 3 year old's doll house!"

Iruka smiled weakly at his outburst and how completely offended he looked. "That's the clown room."

Hidan stopped mid-rant and looked thoughtful, then nodded sagely. "That's good. Kid's hate clowns. We'll keep that. Everything else though..." He shook his head in disappointment, and gave Iruka a sympathetic look. "The rest is fucking pathetic, no offense... It all needs changed."

The elementary teacher blinked. "You're joking, right? There's less than an hour until people will start coming.."

"That'll be plenty of time! Just hold on, I'll be right back!" Hidan declared, tearing off out of the exhibit, leaving Iruka to stare after him with at least a hundred reasons and excuses for him not to bother, but knowing he would only be ignored.

Iruka left the house to see how Kakashi was fairing with the banner outside, and internally snickered when he saw it was lopsided, though his partner didn't seem to notice or care.

"What did Hidan go running off for?" Kakuzu asked when he stepped out.

"He said he was going to find some things to add as finishing touches."

Kakuzu shook his head. "You'll have to put an age restriction on this then.."

Iruka grimaced. "That's what I was afraid of.."

"Well, he's practically a modern day Jack Skellington.." Kakuzu said, then smirked. "Also, a warlock, huh?"

He felt his face heat up immediately at the amused tone and threw Kakashi a weak glare. "It wasn't my first choice.."

Kakashi smiled and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "My bad.."

"Thanks.." He muttered sarcastically.

Another five minutes of idle talk passed before Hidan returned with a plastic shopping bag and immediately disappeared into the haunted house.

Iruka watched him with a concerned expression, but Kakuzu shook his head. "Just let him do what he wants.. He's not going to let you stop him anyways."

Kakuzu was right in the end, Hidan was determined to make the attraction at least mildly frightening, but he at least wasn't given enough time to make it actually traumatizing to small children. He had only had about 25 minutes total to throw together the crappy decorations he'd gotten from the nearest Dollar Store, since a lot of time was spent getting to and from the store as well as having to stop early to retreat to find somewhere to change into his costume, as well as drag Kakuzu with him to help with his outfit.

When they returned, Hidan had painted his visible skin pitch black with white markings that resembled bones. He also wore a plain black cloak a twisted metal halo. He claimed he was the Angel of Death, accompanied by his hell hounds.

Kakuzu's costume was much more lackluster. He had apparently 'forgotten' to bring his costume with him in hopes of not being forced into the childish traditions. But Hidan was having none of it and did his best with his limited supplies, having painted stitches along his arms and cheeks. He supposed it was better than actually having to wear a costume, and merely rolled his eyes in exasperation as Hidan cursed him out for his 'forgetfulness'.

Iruka had to admit, he was impressed with what the grey haired man could do with so little time and supplies. And that wasn't limited to his costume; he'd went through the haunted house while he was gone to see just how much he should restrict the ages to it and was surprised at the amount of change that had happened.

There had been plenty of fake blood added to the walls and floors, but not so much it was excessive, as well as added walk through cobwebs, fake spiders, and other small creepy crawlies he could hang from the fake webs, as well as a few red mood lights. It certainly helped give it a more creepy feel without being too horrifying for younger children. Iruka was thankful. He didn't feel like being sued and having to pay for therapy.

He didn't have time to discuss any of this with him though, as people had begun to arrive now and he was soon confronted with an over-excited Konohamaru who was trying to beg to get a sneak peek of the haunted house, and even tried to slip in behind his back when Iruka wasn't looking.

Soon nearly his whole class was there all dressed up in a wide variety of costumes, some very creative and others not so unique. Luckily none of them chose to comment on his own costume. He was very grateful. Kakashi's students had started arriving as well, and Iruka couldn't help but smile at the familiar sight of his old students.

Once it seemed most of the townspeople had arrived, Iruka and Kakashi officially opened the haunted house and allowed their students to be the first to go through the exhibit.

They were far more impressed with it than they were with last year's, all courtesy to the new decorations and more horror-esque feeling to halls and rooms. He felt a little bad Hidan wasn't here since he had done a lot of the more higher quality finishing touches that brought the whole thing together, but he had opted to stay with Kakuzu at their own booth.

By the end of the trip through the house, no one was terrified out of their wits, but no one was disappointed with the results either. It was fairly well received all around by all ages.

Overall, the entire festival went over very well, and Iruka knew it was a very successful year compared to usual.

And despite the absurdity of the situation, the complete unnerving habits, and the sheer oddity of him, Iruka had to confess that Hidan was certainly an interesting individual, and he looked forward to next year's fall holiday season.


End file.
